Just One of the Many Reasons Why I Love Philadelphia So...

a couple girl scouts were selling cookies about ten feet away from one of the tin can lunch trucks that have been dropped on every corner of Broad street in center city by the naturalization board...This guy picking up a cup of coffee on the way to an office jokingly said to the old couple in the truck dressed like Romanion gypsies, "Hey those girls are stealing some of your business, huh?". The old man stuck his head out the window & sniped in broken english "fuck da girl scouts"...

I Am The Otter

Last night, one of our gay waiters, Jimmy, was explaining to me, David & Lisa about a subculture that exists in gay circles know as the "bear community". Bears refer to a large, hairy, gay man that projects masculinity. However, a civil war rages between the muscular & the more generously proportioned bruins as who most accurately fits the description of a "bear" (refer to "the natural bears classification system"), the latter being refered to as nothing more than mere "chubs" by their iron pumping brethern (boys can be so cruel). There also exists a subset of this phenomenon with classifications for those who don't quite fit the bear "mold" but still wanna be players in the "den"...David seemed curiously eager to find out what his status would be should he perchance find himself in a pair of assless chaps on a saturday night at the "Blue Oyster". I thought he'd be a full on "bear", & a popular one at that, but Jimmy said, despite being a big guy & heavily tattooed, David just didn't quite project the working-class masculinity needed for the group. "So what would I be then?", David pleaded...sorry to say buddy but you'd be nothing more than a "cub", & you don't have to be a card carrying "bear" to know that means that you'd be somebodys' bitch...Ouch!...As for myself, due to my leaner figure, I would be...wait for it...an "OTTER?".

Woof!