I Am The Otter

Last night, one of our gay waiters, Jimmy, was explaining to me, David & Lisa about a subculture that exists in gay circles know as the "bear community". Bears refer to a large, hairy, gay man that projects masculinity. However, a civil war rages between the muscular & the more generously proportioned bruins as who most accurately fits the description of a "bear" (refer to "the natural bears classification system"), the latter being refered to as nothing more than mere "chubs" by their iron pumping brethern (boys can be so cruel). There also exists a subset of this phenomenon with classifications for those who don't quite fit the bear "mold" but still wanna be players in the "den"...David seemed curiously eager to find out what his status would be should he perchance find himself in a pair of assless chaps on a saturday night at the "Blue Oyster". I thought he'd be a full on "bear", & a popular one at that, but Jimmy said, despite being a big guy & heavily tattooed, David just didn't quite project the working-class masculinity needed for the group. "So what would I be then?", David pleaded...sorry to say buddy but you'd be nothing more than a "cub", & you don't have to be a card carrying "bear" to know that means that you'd be somebodys' bitch...Ouch!...As for myself, due to my leaner figure, I would be...wait for it...an "OTTER?".

Woof!